When we discuss marriage, desire marriage and devote
ourselves in marriage…we come very close to God himself. Marriage comes very near
to the character and nature of God and comes directly in line with his design
for man and woman.
We have the privilege today of living out a very important aspect of our Creator’s design for us and
it should ignite something deep within each one of us.
God’s first miracle for man was the creation of a woman for him out of his own rib and the performance of a marriage ceremony.
Jesus’ first miracle for man was the creation of wine out of water and the salvation of a
marriage celebration.
Today we are here to witness God, once again, perform a miracle at a wedding ceremony, the uniting
of two souls into one.
Live first for God
When asked what the ‘greatest commandment’ was Jesus said: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.'
Live second for each other and your children
After being asked what the greatest commandment was Jesus added
a second and said: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
Major or the majors...minor on the minors
There are major things that should consume our time, our energy, our emotions and our wallet:
our love for God, our spouses’ desires and well being, our children’s faith and
upbringing, our concern for God’s will being ‘done on earth as it is being done
in heaven’.
And there are minor things that should not take up nearly as much space in our hearts and plans: where we
should vacation this year, whether we should renovate the basement, ‘whose
movie’ we watch this Friday.
Resolve to spend major portions of your time, energy, emotions and money on the major things of
your life…and resolve to delegate an appropriate amount of concern for the
minor things of life.
Jesus said: “…do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about
your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more
than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly
Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?... But seek
first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to
you as well.”
When we keep our priorities straight, that is, inline with God’s word and will…the
rest will fall in it’s correct place.
Commit yourselves to true love
We can only know what true love is from God. He is love and
he is love’s best designer. The world knows very little of true love, a mere
shadow.
Paul writes: “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still
sinners, Christ died for us.”
True love has to do with making the first move. If you have been hurt, wronged or offended do
not wait for your spouse to approach you…you demonstrate your love by seeking
out the one ‘in the wrong’.
Jesus said: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.”
True love has to do with dying to self and serving others. You no longer exist for yourself,
but for your spouse. True love is laying down your rights, your preferences, and
your comforts for the sake of your spouse. You exist to lay yourself down for
your spouse.
Husbands and wives must recognize that in marriage you have
become one flesh. If you live for your private pleasure at the expense of your
spouse, you are living against yourself and destroying your joy. But if you
devote yourself with all your heart to the holy joy of your spouse, you will
also be living for your joy and making a marriage after the image of Christ and
His church.
Finally, Paul writes: “No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in
all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God.”
True love has to do with security. We are eternally secure in our Heavenly Father’s love and in
your marriage your spouse should know that they are secure in your love and
commitment to them.
Staying married, is not mainly about staying in love. It is
about keeping a covenant. “Till death do us part” or “As long as we both shall
live” is a sacred covenant promise – the same kind Jesus made with His bride
when He died for her.
This means doing whatever necessary to uphold and defend
this sacred covenant, just as God has promised to do for us.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
10 ways to stagger your spiritual life in your 20’s and 30’s
I recently read a great article about “10 ways to ruin your life in your 20’s”.
Some of you may have also read it. It was very good, but I think it was
missing some items…here is an amended version called...
10 ways to stagger your spiritual life in your 20’s and 30’s. I wrote it in preparation for our small group. Let me preface by saying that I do not do any of these well and all of them apply BIG TIME to me...so don't be hatin'. I know which ones are our weak points, because they are my weak points.
1. Believe that the Bible can be compartmentalized.
We all do it. We read the Bible and we pick and choose the things that we want to apply to us and the things that we do not want to apply to us. Most likely we do this subconsciously without even really thinking about it. I know I do! It goes something like this: ‘Those verses about ‘personal holiness’ ‘giving’ ‘prayer’ ‘world wide missions’ well those are for the really mature Christians…or ‘God understands my difficult situation and why I just can’t do that…’ God wants ALL OF US to be holy, to pray, to give and to be sold out for world missions and to apply all of scripture, in correct context, to our lives.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” 2 Tim 3:16
2. Jesus doesn’t expect radical commitment.
The second is much like the first, and may actually be the biggest spiritual problem in our American Christian sub-culture. That is; believing that Jesus doesn’t really call for radical commitment…and casual or lukewarm Christianity is ‘ok’. The truth is, it’s not ok. Quit lying to yourself.
There are many radical statements in the gospels. Statements not made by the zealous Paul or the over-promising Peter…statements made by Jesus…the guy that you’re banking your eternity on. Statements like “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Or “whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father” Or “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
God says he will spew the lukewarm out of his mouth(Rev 3:16)…and oh, how often am I so very lukewarm…because I think that half-hearted discipleship is ok…and it isn’t.
“You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot come with me unless you love me more than you love your own life.” Luke 9:26
3. Live outside your means.
When you spend more than you can afford, you still have to pay for it—plus interest. By living the “good life” now, you ensure you’ll be living the bad life of debt payments, downsizing, financial worries, and delayed/nonexistent retirement in your future decades. A similar problem is failing to save or prepare for a crisis or disaster…whether it be a savings account, an emergency fund or additional insurance.
The biggest two areas that I see my generation regularly over spending on is ‘too much house’ and ‘too nice of cars’. The second is devastating because of the devaluation over time. Many people feel like they need to do #3 (buy a new car (or house)over their budget…to prepare for #10…the ‘god-baby’ on the way).
The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender. – Proverbs 22:7
4. Feed an addiction.
Whether it is alcohol, food, money, drugs,pornography, shopping, or whatever, it seems like most people have an addiction of some kind. These addictions bring death: either literal death, or death to relationships, to freedom, and to joy.
How do addictions happen? You feed them: it takes repetition, just like exercise. The more you do a thing, the stronger the addiction grows, and the harder it is to stop doing it. Stop now; it will only be harder with “one last time.”
Addictions go hand in hand with #3…trust me,I have addictions…and many of them cost money. Even simple addictions like coffee, clothing or comforts…and the more addictions the more chance of living outside of your means (and more footing for the enemy).
The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the unfaithful are trapped by evil desires. – Proverbs 11:6
5. Run with fools.
Fact: you are becoming who you hang around with. It’s been said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You do what they do (because you’re doing it together), you pick upon their ideas and beliefs, and you even learn their mannerisms and language.Make a list of your five closest friends…and see what you look like.
If you hang around with idiots, or addicts,or criminals, that’s what you will become. But if you hang around with wise people, who are committed to following Christ and to making a difference with their lives, then that is what you’ll become.
Jesus does want us to love the world, and win the world…including all kinds of foolish, depraved, dirty people…but he doesn’t want us to be won by them.
Something that get’s lost in this is that the same is true for the Christians that you hang out with. If your five closest Christian friends are lukewarm and are doing much of the things on this list often things…you will soon be lukewarm and doing the same.
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. – Proverbs 13:20
5. Find your value in earthly relationships.
Too often we define ourselves by what we have,what we look like and have accomplished…but most often I think we find our value in our relationships ‘who’s with me’. I have found that this is a much bigger struggle for women, than men (but it still happens for us guys, I know,I’ve struggled with it). Often woman base their entire identity, happiness and security on their significant other (boyfriend, fiancĂ©, husband).
And what happens is, those people will always, always let us down in some way or another. Our value must be found in Christ. Our value must be found in what God has declared to be true about us…not what we have, what we have done…or who is with us. Why this could ‘ruin your life’ is because you could spend a lot of time, emotion, money and energy etc.chasing the wrong people and wrong relationships because of a false sense of security you get from their presence in your life…meanwhile, God is on the back-burner of your life and all those resources could've be and should've been poured into pursuing him.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23
6. Tolerate evil.
You’ve probably heard the quote: “The only thing necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.” Well,it’s true. Because there is evil in the world, actively seeking to destroy others, and if nobody opposes those actions they will succeed. And then eventually you’ll be the target.
“Tolerance” is a big word right now. Some promote ideas of genocide or infanticide, or argue that they should be able to sleep with whomever they feel like. God does not tolerate sin; He paid for it.Stand against evil, or one day there may be no one left to stand for you. God rewards (in this life and the next) those who stand against evil, even if no one else takes notice, or if it appears to be of no avail.
This should include ‘not standing against things that are not beneficial.’ Follow me on the double-negative. "I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial."I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive.” 1 Cor 10:23
I hear of Christians who have alcohol at their Bible Studies in the ‘name of cool’ or ‘we don’t want to appear to be legalistic’. I love beer…I will come out and say it. I love the flavor; I love all kinds of beers. As believers we are allowed to consume in moderation,privacy etc. etc. But just because something isn’t evil/wrong doesn’t mean that it is beneficial, or always beneficial in every situation. We do the same thing with movies, music, friends, etc. Don’t tolerate evil…but also don’t tolerate things that are just bad ideas and are very unbeneficial.
To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. Proverbs 8:13
7. Make secondary things ultimate and ultimate things secondary.
If an outsider were to observe how you spend your time and resources, what would they end up saying your life is about?Making money? Looking good? Fantasy football? Would they say you worship God,or worship that 60-inch HD TV?
There is nothing wrong with working, or working out, or having hobbies, or being interested in the opposite sex. Those are all good things, if you don’t go overboard and make them the focus of your life. They are all secondary, the side dishes of an eternal life. God is ultimate, is the very reason you are here, and is the only one of those things that will last forever. This is why #10 is such a problem.
My generation, myself included, store up way too many treasures on earth...and not in heaven. Another problem (in relationship to #7 and #10) is that we make taking pictures of our kids and tracking their development such a priority...but oh, how few parents teach their kids the Bible regularly. We are making primary things (teaching them about God) secondary and making secondary things (art, soccer, dance, their comfort) primary.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices--mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” Matthew 23:23
8. Believe that this life is all about you.
You are one of seven billion people alive currently, and though you are special, so is each of the other6,999,999,999—(and most of them live and die outside of the gospel...all the while we are sipping coffee, and taking picture of our kids, living beyond our means).
You are not the star of this show. You have a cameo that will be forgotten as soon as the screen changes.
People who become the biggest thing in their world are dysfunctional. They have a skewed view. They will always end up either disappointed or delusional. And when they go, their world disappears;they don’t actually leave any impact.
If you do want to be important and make a difference, live for God. Resolve to give your life away for something bigger,and make an impact on the people around you.
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. – Proverbs 16:18
9. Live for immediate gratification.
Almost nothing truly worthwhile comes quickly.It takes time and discipline to become an Olympic athlete, or to simply get in shape; to get a degree, or become a great husband or wife. And any of the things you truly want long-term can be derailed by indulging yourself in the moment.
Do you want an amazing marriage, or just one amazing night? Do you want to retire in 36 years, or drive a luxury car for the next 36 months? Because in each case, choosing the latter makes it more difficult (or impossible) to have the former.
The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down. – Proverbs 21:20
10. Make your children your god. (Caution,this one may make you very mad…and if it does…it is probably because you struggle with it.)
We all have the tendency to make an idol of just about anything. That is because we were made to worship. We have an innate,God given desire to place our desires, emotions, awe, time, resources, and energy at the feet of the thing(s) that we desire most. Now, God wants to be that thing that we desire most and that we put everything under—and we were made to worship him. And life will never make sense or be full satisfying until we do. But, very often, many other things occupy that space in our heart.
The greatest new stumbling block among my generation is making our children our god. You can see it everywhere. Young couples can’t go to Church or sit in Church because ‘little Johnny’ just can’t sit still or ‘he doesn’t like the nursery workers’.
Young couples can’t afford to tithe or give money to worthy causes…but they can buy expensive Baby Bjorn & Carters etc!Or are too high and mighty to have their kids wear used clothes!
Just watch on Facebook. Some of the rooms we are decorating for our kids look more like shrines than anything else…these parents are making way for their new little god to arrive.
We document every second, every moment of our kid’s existence. “Here is ‘baby Sue’ she’s the size of a pea, now a marble, now a tomato”…“here’s how my belly looks today, in case you forgot from yesterday.”These things are ok, to an extent. But do we document our Bible reading this intense? Do we document our prayers and answer to prayers? Heck, do we even read the Bible or pray with the same fervor or with the same amount of time?
Yes! Our family and our kids are a high priority. But they are NOT FIRST! GOD IS! Or should be.
“You must not have any other god but me.” Exodus 20:3
10 ways to stagger your spiritual life in your 20’s and 30’s. I wrote it in preparation for our small group. Let me preface by saying that I do not do any of these well and all of them apply BIG TIME to me...so don't be hatin'. I know which ones are our weak points, because they are my weak points.
1. Believe that the Bible can be compartmentalized.
We all do it. We read the Bible and we pick and choose the things that we want to apply to us and the things that we do not want to apply to us. Most likely we do this subconsciously without even really thinking about it. I know I do! It goes something like this: ‘Those verses about ‘personal holiness’ ‘giving’ ‘prayer’ ‘world wide missions’ well those are for the really mature Christians…or ‘God understands my difficult situation and why I just can’t do that…’ God wants ALL OF US to be holy, to pray, to give and to be sold out for world missions and to apply all of scripture, in correct context, to our lives.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” 2 Tim 3:16
2. Jesus doesn’t expect radical commitment.
The second is much like the first, and may actually be the biggest spiritual problem in our American Christian sub-culture. That is; believing that Jesus doesn’t really call for radical commitment…and casual or lukewarm Christianity is ‘ok’. The truth is, it’s not ok. Quit lying to yourself.
There are many radical statements in the gospels. Statements not made by the zealous Paul or the over-promising Peter…statements made by Jesus…the guy that you’re banking your eternity on. Statements like “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Or “whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father” Or “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
God says he will spew the lukewarm out of his mouth(Rev 3:16)…and oh, how often am I so very lukewarm…because I think that half-hearted discipleship is ok…and it isn’t.
“You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot come with me unless you love me more than you love your own life.” Luke 9:26
3. Live outside your means.
When you spend more than you can afford, you still have to pay for it—plus interest. By living the “good life” now, you ensure you’ll be living the bad life of debt payments, downsizing, financial worries, and delayed/nonexistent retirement in your future decades. A similar problem is failing to save or prepare for a crisis or disaster…whether it be a savings account, an emergency fund or additional insurance.
The biggest two areas that I see my generation regularly over spending on is ‘too much house’ and ‘too nice of cars’. The second is devastating because of the devaluation over time. Many people feel like they need to do #3 (buy a new car (or house)over their budget…to prepare for #10…the ‘god-baby’ on the way).
The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender. – Proverbs 22:7
4. Feed an addiction.
Whether it is alcohol, food, money, drugs,pornography, shopping, or whatever, it seems like most people have an addiction of some kind. These addictions bring death: either literal death, or death to relationships, to freedom, and to joy.
How do addictions happen? You feed them: it takes repetition, just like exercise. The more you do a thing, the stronger the addiction grows, and the harder it is to stop doing it. Stop now; it will only be harder with “one last time.”
Addictions go hand in hand with #3…trust me,I have addictions…and many of them cost money. Even simple addictions like coffee, clothing or comforts…and the more addictions the more chance of living outside of your means (and more footing for the enemy).
The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the unfaithful are trapped by evil desires. – Proverbs 11:6
5. Run with fools.
Fact: you are becoming who you hang around with. It’s been said you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You do what they do (because you’re doing it together), you pick upon their ideas and beliefs, and you even learn their mannerisms and language.Make a list of your five closest friends…and see what you look like.
If you hang around with idiots, or addicts,or criminals, that’s what you will become. But if you hang around with wise people, who are committed to following Christ and to making a difference with their lives, then that is what you’ll become.
Jesus does want us to love the world, and win the world…including all kinds of foolish, depraved, dirty people…but he doesn’t want us to be won by them.
Something that get’s lost in this is that the same is true for the Christians that you hang out with. If your five closest Christian friends are lukewarm and are doing much of the things on this list often things…you will soon be lukewarm and doing the same.
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. – Proverbs 13:20
5. Find your value in earthly relationships.
Too often we define ourselves by what we have,what we look like and have accomplished…but most often I think we find our value in our relationships ‘who’s with me’. I have found that this is a much bigger struggle for women, than men (but it still happens for us guys, I know,I’ve struggled with it). Often woman base their entire identity, happiness and security on their significant other (boyfriend, fiancĂ©, husband).
And what happens is, those people will always, always let us down in some way or another. Our value must be found in Christ. Our value must be found in what God has declared to be true about us…not what we have, what we have done…or who is with us. Why this could ‘ruin your life’ is because you could spend a lot of time, emotion, money and energy etc.chasing the wrong people and wrong relationships because of a false sense of security you get from their presence in your life…meanwhile, God is on the back-burner of your life and all those resources could've be and should've been poured into pursuing him.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23
6. Tolerate evil.
You’ve probably heard the quote: “The only thing necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.” Well,it’s true. Because there is evil in the world, actively seeking to destroy others, and if nobody opposes those actions they will succeed. And then eventually you’ll be the target.
“Tolerance” is a big word right now. Some promote ideas of genocide or infanticide, or argue that they should be able to sleep with whomever they feel like. God does not tolerate sin; He paid for it.Stand against evil, or one day there may be no one left to stand for you. God rewards (in this life and the next) those who stand against evil, even if no one else takes notice, or if it appears to be of no avail.
This should include ‘not standing against things that are not beneficial.’ Follow me on the double-negative. "I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial."I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive.” 1 Cor 10:23
I hear of Christians who have alcohol at their Bible Studies in the ‘name of cool’ or ‘we don’t want to appear to be legalistic’. I love beer…I will come out and say it. I love the flavor; I love all kinds of beers. As believers we are allowed to consume in moderation,privacy etc. etc. But just because something isn’t evil/wrong doesn’t mean that it is beneficial, or always beneficial in every situation. We do the same thing with movies, music, friends, etc. Don’t tolerate evil…but also don’t tolerate things that are just bad ideas and are very unbeneficial.
To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. Proverbs 8:13
7. Make secondary things ultimate and ultimate things secondary.
If an outsider were to observe how you spend your time and resources, what would they end up saying your life is about?Making money? Looking good? Fantasy football? Would they say you worship God,or worship that 60-inch HD TV?
There is nothing wrong with working, or working out, or having hobbies, or being interested in the opposite sex. Those are all good things, if you don’t go overboard and make them the focus of your life. They are all secondary, the side dishes of an eternal life. God is ultimate, is the very reason you are here, and is the only one of those things that will last forever. This is why #10 is such a problem.
My generation, myself included, store up way too many treasures on earth...and not in heaven. Another problem (in relationship to #7 and #10) is that we make taking pictures of our kids and tracking their development such a priority...but oh, how few parents teach their kids the Bible regularly. We are making primary things (teaching them about God) secondary and making secondary things (art, soccer, dance, their comfort) primary.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices--mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” Matthew 23:23
8. Believe that this life is all about you.
You are one of seven billion people alive currently, and though you are special, so is each of the other6,999,999,999—(and most of them live and die outside of the gospel...all the while we are sipping coffee, and taking picture of our kids, living beyond our means).
You are not the star of this show. You have a cameo that will be forgotten as soon as the screen changes.
People who become the biggest thing in their world are dysfunctional. They have a skewed view. They will always end up either disappointed or delusional. And when they go, their world disappears;they don’t actually leave any impact.
If you do want to be important and make a difference, live for God. Resolve to give your life away for something bigger,and make an impact on the people around you.
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. – Proverbs 16:18
9. Live for immediate gratification.
Almost nothing truly worthwhile comes quickly.It takes time and discipline to become an Olympic athlete, or to simply get in shape; to get a degree, or become a great husband or wife. And any of the things you truly want long-term can be derailed by indulging yourself in the moment.
Do you want an amazing marriage, or just one amazing night? Do you want to retire in 36 years, or drive a luxury car for the next 36 months? Because in each case, choosing the latter makes it more difficult (or impossible) to have the former.
The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down. – Proverbs 21:20
10. Make your children your god. (Caution,this one may make you very mad…and if it does…it is probably because you struggle with it.)
We all have the tendency to make an idol of just about anything. That is because we were made to worship. We have an innate,God given desire to place our desires, emotions, awe, time, resources, and energy at the feet of the thing(s) that we desire most. Now, God wants to be that thing that we desire most and that we put everything under—and we were made to worship him. And life will never make sense or be full satisfying until we do. But, very often, many other things occupy that space in our heart.
The greatest new stumbling block among my generation is making our children our god. You can see it everywhere. Young couples can’t go to Church or sit in Church because ‘little Johnny’ just can’t sit still or ‘he doesn’t like the nursery workers’.
Young couples can’t afford to tithe or give money to worthy causes…but they can buy expensive Baby Bjorn & Carters etc!Or are too high and mighty to have their kids wear used clothes!
Just watch on Facebook. Some of the rooms we are decorating for our kids look more like shrines than anything else…these parents are making way for their new little god to arrive.
We document every second, every moment of our kid’s existence. “Here is ‘baby Sue’ she’s the size of a pea, now a marble, now a tomato”…“here’s how my belly looks today, in case you forgot from yesterday.”These things are ok, to an extent. But do we document our Bible reading this intense? Do we document our prayers and answer to prayers? Heck, do we even read the Bible or pray with the same fervor or with the same amount of time?
Yes! Our family and our kids are a high priority. But they are NOT FIRST! GOD IS! Or should be.
“You must not have any other god but me.” Exodus 20:3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)